


loneliness is only love's hologram

by silversilky



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game), ビースターズ | BEASTARS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Anthropomorphic, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Furry, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Trans Female Character (minor), minor food chain angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversilky/pseuds/silversilky
Summary: Misaki, by all rights, should scare the life out of Kanon. She stands a good two heads above her, with several times her body mass and muscle along with the long claws that had come part and parcel with her bear heritage. Kanon, by comparison the very picture of a prey animal, shouldn't feel as comfortable with her as she does... but she does, and that gives her an odd sense of warmth inside.
Relationships: Matsubara Kanon/Okusawa Misaki
Comments: 11
Kudos: 60





	loneliness is only love's hologram

**Author's Note:**

> this is heavily inspired and influenced by pyton's [Beastdori series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542811) and uses their selections from that for misaki and kanon's species. make sure to go check that out!

The reader makes a pleased _ding_ and lights up green when Kanon touches her card to it. She quickly pulls it away and hurries through the gate as the turnstile gives way for her, holding her arms up above the sides just to make sure there isn't a repeat of last time--getting your wool stuck could really hurt, and there were few things more embarrassing for an alpaca than having a single sheared patch out of season.

  
She turns and awkwardly steps out of the flow of the line, stumbling a bit but catching herself in time. Where is she... Ah! Over there! She waves excitedly as she catches sight of those familiar round ears sticking up in the middle of the crowd.

  
A tall, dark-furred bear emerges, waving back with one hefty paw, and Kanon gives her a smile in return.

  
Misaki, by all rights, should scare the life out of Kanon. She stands a good two heads above her, with several times her body mass and muscle along with the long claws that had come part and parcel with her bear heritage. Kanon, by comparison the very picture of a prey animal, shouldn't feel as comfortable with her as she does... but she does, and that gives her an odd sense of warmth inside.

  
"Misaki-chan, you made it!"

  
"I should be the one saying that," Misaki replies, paws securely tucked into the pockets of her hoodie. For a moment, Kanon wonders what it'd feel like to try and wear it, and nearly giggles at the thought of it draped over her like a tent. "You got here even before I did, Kanon-san, I thought... um, well, I thought I might need to come find you again."

  
"Fuee..." Kanon hides her face in her paws, overcome with embarrassment at the memory of Misaki wandering the streets calling her name as if she were a lost pet. "I'm not going to get lost anymore! I've already made it to this station a few times, so I can remember the way more easily..."

  
A low, rumbling chuckle comes from the back of Misaki's throat. "Ah, haha. There, there, Kanon-san..." She starts to take one paw out--to pat her on the shoulder?--but seems to reconsider as something flashes on her face. Kanon feels a little prick of emotion at that, but before she can process it Misaki's moved on.

  
"We should head to the platform, we'll be catching the southbound in..." Misaki squints to see the flashing display that lists each departure. "Five minutes."

  
"Ah, that's soon!" Kanon starts to scurry, waving for Misaki to follow. "Come on, Misaki-chan, let's make sure we get there while there's still room!"

  
"Er..." The bear doesn't move, instead points in the opposite direction. "Kanon-san, I agree, but the platform is this way..."

  
Kanon stops. "Ah... I see..." She takes a moment to fuee quietly before following Misaki in the correct direction and up the well-lit flight of stairs.

  
What time does the aquarium close at, again? She takes a moment to double check on her phone. 7 pm--and it's already 4:45! Kanon feels her anxiety start to build. What if they miss the train and have to take the next one? They'll have less than an hour to walk around, and what kind of... _date? Friend date? Platonic outing???_ would that be?

  
The memory of Misaki awkwardly proposing their day out together doesn't exactly help with the anxiety, as Kanon once again scours every facet of the interaction to try and figure out if she meant it romantically or not. Surely not, right? Kanon was Kanon, and Kanon was a slow awkward little prey animal, and she was trans, and--and other self depreciating things, why not toss 'em all onto the pile?--so why on earth would someone as kind and put together as Misaki be interested in her that way?

  
...Is _she_ interested in _Misaki_ that way?

  
"Aweh!" she cries as she stumbles, right on the final step. But before she can trip forward, there's a pressure on her torso holding her up. She looks down with wide eyes to see a large dark-furred paw, almost completely covering her stomach.

  
"Ah! Er, Kanon-san, are you all right?" As quickly as it shot out, Misaki's arm retreats, and even though Kanon's standing perfectly stable... she sort of misses the feeling of it.

  
"I'm okay..." Kanon gives her a thankful smile. "Thank you, Misaki-chan!"

  
"Don't worry about it..." Misaki scratches the back of her head, steadily avoiding Kanon's gaze. And then the two of them stand up straight at the quiet rumble that starts up underneath them through the concrete. "Oh, f--hell--heck, the train! Kanon-san, let's get going!"

  
Kanon scrambles with her to the platform, squeezing into line for the first car just as the train glides into the platform and comes to a halt. The doors slide open with a hydraulic hiss, and--oh no. How on earth is it so full at this time of day? She can already hear groans from the crowd as they see only a few will be able to squeeze in.

  
Several of them begin to move to the next car down, and seeing that it's the only way they'll be able to get on, Kanon turns to Misaki. "Misaki-chan, we've gotta run! We can still make it onto the next car!" She takes off, with Misaki close behind. Misaki starts to call out to her--what was that? It can wait, she's already hopped through the doors and Misaki is right behind as they slide shut.

  
She turns to her friend with a grin, paws held to her chest and balled up out of adrenaline. "Misaki-chan, we made it!"

  
Misaki stares down at her, and then--without warning she moves in, wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her close as she gasps. Kanon feels herself bump against the bear's wide, warm chest, and begins to freak out. "M-M-Misaki-chan? Why are you--"

  
But then the smell hits her, and as she looks around with wide eyes, Kanon realizes why Misaki is curled around her so protectively.

  
_This is a predator car._

  
That was what Misaki was trying to tell her before she so stupidly rushed in, not paying attention to the signs at all. All around her are the huge, lithe forms of big predators, and half of them are staring at the tiny alpaca who scurried foolishly into their domain. Kanon begins to shake as a leopard's gaze hits her, and the thick arms around her shoulders pull her a little closer.

  
She looks up to see Misaki glaring fiercely at any animal who seems like they're liable to come close. As Kanon stares, the bear turns her eyes down to meet hers. They're soft but firm. "Kanon-san, I apologize, but please stay right here with me. We'll get off at the next stop."

  
As Kanon softly fuees, the train rocks, and Misaki holds her just a bit tighter to keep her from stumbling. Kanon's pretty sure her brain stopped working several minutes ago, and all she can think about now is how warm Misaki is, how soft the thick fur on her arms is as it brushes against the back of her neck. "It's all right," she says quietly, "um... We can..."

  
Misaki looks at her questioningly as she stumbles on the words, growing more red by the minute. "We can, um, stay here until our stop, we don't have to get off early..."

  
"Ah." The bear holding her doesn't seem to know how to react to that at all. "Um. Are you sure, Kanon-san? This has got to be uncomfortable for you..."

  
"Not if you're with me," Kanon blurts out, and then she stops talking altogether. So does Misaki, and the two of them ride out the rest of their journey in silence. It's awkward, absolutely, and scary, but not quite uncomfortable. It's just... warm. So warm that Kanon's face won't cool down, her heart won't stop thumping in her chest.

  
Eventually the announcer calls out their stop in a tired voice, and the two of them stumble out into the fresh air together. Kanon sinks down, breathing heavily, and Misaki hovers--clearly she wants to help, but isn't sure how, and Kanon's not in any state to tell her that just being there is all the help she needs right now.

  
"Er, Kanon-san... are you doing okay? I know that had to be pretty stressful... I mean, I guess I can't know, fully, I'm not a pr--just--you get what I mean." The words are falling out of Misaki's mouth quickly, each one faster than the last. "I'm really sorry I did that without warning you I promise I won't do it again and--"

  
"Misaki-chan!" Kanon calls out to her, holding up a paw disarmingly. "You, um, didn't do anything wrong... I really appreciate it. Thank you..."

  
"Of course..." Misaki looks down at her, and Kanon can see her begin to pull her paw out of her pocket--to help Kanon stand, maybe?--and then put it back with the same expression as before crossing her face. It's not fear, exactly, but Kanon is starting to get it now.

  
Misaki is so worried. Probably concerned that Kanon will panic at the sight of her claws, at the sudden and cold sense of understanding that she's friends with a large predator. Especially now, when Kanon's already feeling so much fear and anxiety from being in close quarters with others just like her.

  
As Kanon processes this, her heart can't help but ache at the thought of those feelings influencing her friend's actions, and she feels the corners of her eyes begin to fill up. A lump in her throat builds as she blinks the budding moisture away. Twice now, three times, it just won't stop... and oh no, now Misaki's noticed.

  
"Kanon-san, are you, um..." Misaki looks like she wants so badly to help in some way, but instead she starts to take a step back. Kanon shakes her head as she wipes away the last of the tears, and decides she absolutely won't let Misaki think of their relationship that way. Never.

  
She reaches out to the bear with an open paw. "Misaki-chan... can you help me stand up?"

  
Misaki stares with wide eyes, and after a moment she slowly pulls her paw out of her pocket and reaches over--so carefully, so tentatively--to take Kanon's. Kanon marvels at the feeling of it. It's so wide and warm, it completely envelops hers in velvet and fur. She barely spares a glance at the claws as she stands.

  
"Well, um... let's head to the aquarium then, if you're ready, Misaki-chan?"

  
"Ah... er, yeah, let's go."

  
And as the two leave the station together, discussing the exhibits they want to see first and the cafes in the area they can visit afterwards, the alpaca and bear's paws stay firmly entwined together.

  
Just so Kanon doesn't get lost, of course.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, i appreciate all comments and you can find me on twitter @tractioncities! title is from the song hologram by snowmine


End file.
